-Talking dirty in bed means shouting obscenities when he hogs the blanket.

-Chivalry's as dead as the door he lets slam in your face.

-PMS lasts all month.

-Your jumbo box of absorbent maxi-pads is on open display.

-"Honey, what are you thinking?" is now "Are you finished yet?!"

-He yawns when you bitch about that guy hitting on you at work.

-Dildos, S & M, menage ... anything to break the monotony.

-You used to walk hand in hand, now you run to keep up.

-Those frilly, lacy, tiny panties have become way too uncomfortable.

-Two weeks no orgasm.

-Three weeks no orgasm ... and you still don't miss it.

-When he lends you five bucks, he expects it back.

-You'd rather spend quality time with your vibrator.

-The way he breathes is getting on your nerves.

-You let one rip in your sleep and don't care if he hears