John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, Between the legs of me wife!" That won him top prize for the best toast of the night.

He went home and told his wife, Mary, he won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, and what was your toast?"

John replied, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife!"

Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "Did you know that John won the prize the other night with a toast about you, Mary?"

She said, "Aye, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice! Once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!"